Mame

Da li smo spremni za još jednu bebu? | Are we ready for another baby?

Tri godine uživamo sa našim sinom ali moja želja za ženskim detetom je neopisiva… Problem je u tome što ja ne radim, suprugu su smanjili platu. Aleksa raste, biće sve veća razlika u godinama, a ja silno želim da odrastaju zajedno…

Ali želja je veća od bilo čega…

( Moram reći da su sva naša deca planirana. Nije nam se desilo slučajno. Svi su jako željena deca i dugo isčekivana. )

Posle dužeg razmišljanja i „pregovaranja“ sa mužem, odlučili smo se da se opustimo pa šta bude biće…

Ali ovaj put nije išlo tako lako kao prvi put…

Dani su prolazili, meseci… Svaki mesec isto, mesto dve crtice ugledamo jednu… Taj bol i razočarenje su nešto što ne bih poželela nikome da oseti. Prođe jedan, dva meseca pa i treći mesec i ništa… Već smo i odustali. U međuvremenu sam ja počela da radim. Odlučili smo da pokušamo još jedan mesec ako ništa da vidimo šta dalje… da vidimo u čemu je problem…



We have been enjoying our son for three years but my desire for a female child is indescribable … The problem is that I do not work, my wife got a pay cut.  Alexa is growing, there will be a bigger difference in age, and I really want them to grow up together …

But the desire is greater than anything …

(I have to say that all of our children are planned. It did not happen to us. All of them are very much wanted children and have been waiting for a long time.)

After thinking for a long time and „negotiating“ with my husband, we decided to relax, so what will happen …

But this time it wasn’t as easy as the first time …

Days passed, months … Every month the same, instead of two dashes we see one … That pain and disappointment are something I would not want anyone to feel.  One, two months and even a third month pass and nothing … We have already given up.  In the meantime, I started working.  We decided to try another month if nothing else to see what happened next … to see what the problem was …

28.12.2013. bol u stomaku… Pomislila sam „ništa ni ovaj mesec“…. Nije bilo vreme za dobijanje ali mene uglavnom 7 dana pre počne stomak da boli. ( Pošto su mi bili neredovni ciklusi na 23-27 dana i nikada nisam znala kada će ciklus tačno biti.)

08.01.2014. Odlazimo na slavu kod prijatelja. Stomak opet počinje da boli. Pomislila sam „definitivno je to to,ciklus kreće“. Međutim, ništa taj dan pa ni sledeći. Želela sam da sačekam još neki dan ali 10.01.2014 odlučim da sutra uradim test. Odlazim u apoteku, kupujem, ko zna koji po redu test, i stavljam ga u torbu da ga uradim sutra rano.

11.01.2014. Budim se rano za posao. Odlazim u kupatilo da se spremim za posao, vidim nema ciklusa… Uzimam test iz torbe i uradim ga. Ukratko samo da naglasim da je veče pre muž radio noćnu smenu a moja majka je spavala kod mene da može sina da odvede u vrtić. I ko za inat u mom iščekivanju pokuca ona na vrata kupatila. Ja u panici jer je ostalo još malo da sačekam famoznih 5 minuta. Brzo sakrivam test i otključavam joj. Samo sam molila Boga da ne podigne pogled u toku sređivanja da ga ne ugleda u viseći deo…

Hvala Bogu ona brzo završava i ja se vraćam nazad. Zaključavam vrata ali se ne usuđujem da pogledam test. Šta ako se razočaram opet?! To će me dotući… Skupljam snagu i uzimam test. Ruke počinju da mi se tresu. Ne verujem svojim očima šta vidim…

DVE CRTE!!!!

Bože radosti moje… počinjem da plačem… Uzimam telefon i slikam test. Šaljem mužu sliku. ( U tom trenutku je on još bio na poslu.) Zove me i pita „Da li je to to šta ja mislim da je?“ Odgovaram mu “ DA“!

Odlazim na posao. Posle nekog vremena dolazi muž sa čokoladom i najvećim osmehom na licu… Dolazi i sin da se javi pre polaska u vrtić. Prilazim, ljubim ga i šapnem mu da ćemo imati bebu. On mali ali mi tada kaže “ Biće to moja sestra Anđela“. Kažem mu da ćuti da je to za sad samo naša tajna. Prihvata tajnu…


12/28/2013  stomach pain … I thought „nothing this month either“ …. There was no time to get it but mostly 7 days before my stomach starts to hurt.  (Since my irregular cycles were 23-27 days and I never knew when exactly the cycle would be.)

08.01.2014.  We’re going to a friend’s party.  The stomach starts to hurt again.  I thought „this is definitely it, the cycle is moving“.  However, nothing that day or the next.  I wanted to wait another day, but on January 10, 2014, I decided to take the test tomorrow.  I go to the pharmacy, buy, who knows what test, and put it in my bag to do it tomorrow early.

2014/01/11  I wake up early for work.  I go to the bathroom to get ready for work, I see no cycles … I take the test out of my bag and do it.  In short, let me just emphasize that the night before, my husband worked the night shift and my mother slept with me so that she could take her son to kindergarten.  And who in spite of my expectation knocks on the bathroom door.  I’m in a panic because I have a little more time to wait for the famous 5 minutes.  I quickly hide the test and unlock it.  I just prayed to God not to look up during the tidying up so that he wouldn’t see it in the hanging part …

Thank God it ends quickly and I come back.  I lock the door but dare not look at the test.  What if I get disappointed again ?!  It’s going to hit me … I’m gathering strength and taking a test.  My hands are starting to shake.  I don’t believe my eyes what I see …

TWO LINES !!!!

My God … I’m starting to cry … I take my phone and take a test.  I’m sending my husband a picture.  (At that point, he was still at work.) He calls me and asks „Is this what I think it is?“  I answer him „YES“!

I’m going to work.  After a while, a husband comes in with a chocolate and the biggest smile on his face … A son comes to pick up before leaving for kindergarten.  I approach, pet him and whisper to him that we will have a baby.  He is small, but then he tells me „It will be my sister Angela“.  I tell him to keep quiet that it’s just our secret for now.  He accepts the secret …

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